


In our time

by luvliv2004



Series: In Our Time [1]
Category: Marvel
Genre: M/M, pre-serum stucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-17 03:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 20,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11267340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvliv2004/pseuds/luvliv2004
Summary: Steve, a shrimpy kid who lives across the apartment complex from his childhood friend, Bucky Barnes, was destined for greatness. Know the story of the time before he became a national treasure.





	1. March 1930 - My name is

Steve’s fingers ached from the cold. It had been another 40 degree day in Brooklyn just as Hendrickson had reported. He could feel it in his joints; in the handle on his door, in the ferrule of his pencil as he slid his hand down the shaft to erase that one line that was just a tad too long. The kid blew out frozen breaths from his nose as he swiped the bits of eraser off of his paper. He tried to remember what Ms. Sinclair’s daughter had told him about drawing noses: Only line one side of the bridge, otherwise your person will end up looking like an ogre. The open window directly behind him let in a divine white light from the overcast skies, and the impending shadow his body cast on his drawing annoyed Steve. 

Eventually, he had drawn enough lines for the complete image of a young woman to stare back at him. She wasn’t exactly his mother as he had intended her to be, but he didn’t mind. His mother didn’t share the same bottle cap eyes or heart-shaped lips as the woman in the drawing. The only characteristic the two women shared was their blonde hair tucked up in her nursing bun. Sarah would have adored the artwork. It would have warmed her heart to know that someone still sees her as the beautiful woman that she was. 

The shadows on his desk were getting to him more than ever. Steve turned around, looking through the window up at the sky with eyes that asked, “Sun, can you just dim it down, just a little?” He tried to focus back on drawing the woman’s chin; lining and sketching away to create an ultra-feminine jawline trying to— 

He heard something strike his window. Annoyance turned to fear as he ran up to it, opening it slightly and slipping his hand under the sill of the window. He massaged the newly created chip in the glass. He knew that his mother couldn’t afford to fix it. 

In his peripheral vision, he could see a figure out in the distance waving at him. When he focused on the figure, he saw the boy who was living in the apartments directly across from him. For all of Steve’s life, he had lived in the same apartment. On nights when he couldn’t sleep, he stare out of his bedroom window and watch the old man who lived in the new boys apartment polish his shoes. It wasn’t a surprise to see a new family moving in after Steve didn’t see the man for almost a week. Steve wondered if the man had died. He was pretty old.

“Did you see what hit my window?” Steve after he opened the window all the way. 

The boy smirked. “Yeah. My rock.” He laughed.

Steve suspected that his rock was karma from the time he went to the pond at the park and accidentally hit a duck with a skipping stones. He rolled his eyes as he tried his hardest to push the window down closed.

 

“Wait! Don’t go!” The boy yelled.

Steve stopped. He couldn’t even get the window down at all anyways. “What?” 

The boy bent over to pull something out of his pocket. “I’m bored. Wanna play jack’s?” He held a small brown sack out in front of him.

Steve took a second to examine the boy. He couldn’t tell if his intentions were genuine or not, but upon inspecting the boy’s uncombed black hair and his peachy skin with his thin, desperate smile, he knew that the boy was just as lonely as he was. “Uh... Shu-Sure.” He projected.

“Alright.” The boy walked away from his window. “Meet me on the front steps.”

Steve was dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe that he was going to be playing games with the same boy who had just chipped his window a few minutes before. Steve figured that he could possibly be just another guy that would end up stealing his lunch or cutting his suspenders. 

Suddenly, he began to question whether or not he should meet the boy down on the steps, but then, he realized that the consequences would probably be worse if he didn’t go.

He jogged through his apartment, realizing that the boy was waiting for him. “Ma,” He yelled, “I’ll be on the steps!” He grabbed his coat and ran out the door.

 

***

 

Surely enough, the boy had been sitting, hunched over the top stair like a bum warming his hands over an invisible fire. He turned around at the sound of Steve stepping through the puddle that had accumulated right before the front door. He was stunned at how small Steve was. The thirty feet between their windows didn’t allow him to absorb Steve’s angelic blue eyes. “Hello.” he greeted.

“Hello.” Steve approached. 

“What’s your name?” The boy asked.

“Steve.” Steve replied.

“Well Steve, you can call me Bucky.”

Steve chuckled as he wondered what Bucky could have possibly done to earn that name. 

“Dih-Did you want to start?” Bucky held up the bag of jack’s again.

Steve took the seat next to him. “Well, to be honest with you," Steve confessed, ''I've never really played jack’s before, can you teach me?"

"Sure." Bucky Answered without a second thought. “So, you take the ball and bounce it, and when the ball is in the air, you have to try to pick up as many of these little metal do-dads as you can..." He held up one of the jack’s. 

Steve got lost in Bucky's words as he tried to examine Bucky even further from an artistic perspective. Steve loved to draw, to be able to capture beautiful, unforgettable moments in his life and immortalize them in paper and graphite. His love followed him everywhere. He noted how symmetrical Bucky's face was; how his nostrils pointed downward slightly; the way his top lip was one-third the size of his bottom lip. He wondered how easy it would be to draw him. 

"Got it?" Bucky asked breaking Steve's thoughts.

“Yeah." Steve replied unaware of what Bucky had just said. "You can go first."

Bucky grabbed the rubber ball and bounced it on the floor. As it flew up in the air, Bucky quickly used one hand and picked up 2 metal jack’s, and caught the ball in his other. Steve tried to watch his every move so when his turn came around, he would have a partial idea of what to do.

"Your turn." Bucky said as he handed Steve the ball; their hands touched slightly during the interaction, making him all the more nervous to perform correctly.

Steve bounced the ball. When it was up, Steve quickly used both hands and grabbed all the jacks. He then transferred all of the jacks from one hand to the other and held out his free hand to catch the ball. When he looked up at Bucky, they both had grins on their faces.

"I win." Steve said with a little laugh.

"That's cheating!" Bucky yelled now completely laughing and snorting along with Steve. 

"Whoops!" Steve barely said through hysterical laughter.

Bucky played another turn, trying to stifle his giggles as he picked up two of the jack’s before catching the ball again. He tossed the metal back to the floor and held the ball out for Steve. “Do you still want to play? I can tell this isn’t really your thing.” Bucky recommended. 

“Nah. I’m real horsefeathers at this game.” Steve admitted.

Bucky began to pack all of his jack’s back in their bag. Steve still sat on the steps, realizing that the moist concrete had left a wet stain on his pants. Great, something for Bucky to egg him on for. He leaned back, trying to get a good look at Bucky’s pants and breathing a sigh of relief when he saw water stains on his trousers as well. Bucky reached into his pocket and pulled out a deep purple plum. "Want one?" he asked Steve.

"Uh, sure." Steve answered.

Steve took the plum Bucky had given him in his hand. It was warm from being in his pockets the whole time. That warm was almost a beacon in the cold of the afternoon. It’s rich purple color stood out in the sea of pale whites, browns, and creams. Steve didn’t want to bite into it and break it’s regal plum skin, it was that beautiful. 

"So, why haven't I seen you around here?" Steve asked.

“That would be because I just moved here with my mom and my sister." He answered, sloppily chewing on his fruit. 

“Wow. So how old are you?”

"I'll be twelve in three days." 

"Neat. I'll be twelve in July."

 

"Do you play any sports?" 

“Not really.” Steve finally bit his plum. “ I’ve got asthma. Besides, it's not like the teams want a scrawny little dude like me."

“Don't worry, you won't always be like that." Bucky sounded determined, as if he would make sure that Steve wouldn’t always stay small. 

"I doubt it." Steve snickered.

***

"James Buchanan Barnes! Get in here right this instant and clean your room." Buchanan. That’s where Bucky comes from. 

Both boys turned their heads towards the sound of Bucky's mother's voice. 

"Well that was fun while it lasted." Bucky said as he stood up.

He walked over to the front door and turned around. "That was fun. We should do that again." He said to Steve. 

His fear of Bucky was completely gone with the realization that he had finally been able to find a real friend. Steve replied, "I'd like that." with genuine interest.


	2. May 1930 - The wonder of you

"Hey Buck!" Steve shouted across the buildings. 

As time had gone by Steve and Bucky always left their windows open so they could call to each other at any time. It just made sense since they would talk or meet up every day. Once Bucky started school, they would help each other with their homework and Steve would help Bucky learn how to draw. 

"Yeah Steve?" Bucky responded.

"Check this out."

Steve held up a brand new portable camera. 

"Woah!" Is that a camera?" Bucky asked. 

"Yup. It cost a whole $14.00!"

"My goodness."

"Wanna try it?" Steve asked. 

"Yeah! I'll meet you on the stairs." 

On the steps, Steve waited for Bucky with his hands around the camera. When Bucky finally came through the doors, he smiled at Steve.

"Can I see it?" He asked.

"Be careful." 

Steve handed him the camera. Bucky took the camera with gentle hands and looked right into the lens. He flipped it upside down and studied the sides. It was shiny black and had silver accents. There wasn't a single scratch on it. He handed it back to Steve.

Steve proposed a plan, "We'll pose together and I'll take one picture for you and one for me, but we can only take one each since I used all but two spaces of the film"

Bucky barely paid attention to the unnecessarily complicated plan, and said, "Well if we only get one each, we might as well make it good right?"

"Yeah..." Steve responded unsure of what Bucky meant. 

"So let's go to the Brooklyn bridge park.'' Bucky suggested," There's this beautiful tree and I think it would make a great background."

"But what if we get caught?" Steve asked. "My mom would kill if she knew I snuck out.''

"Oh come on! Let's go.'' Bucky looked left, then right to check and see if anyone was watching, took Steve's hand and ran, dragging the lighter boy along with him.

After a short walk and a bunch of complains from Steve, they finally made it to the park. Bucky led Steve to the infamous tree. "There she is!" Bucky said as he gestured toward the tree.  Bucky was right. The tree was beautiful. It wasn't that tall but the trunk was strong and wide. It had a whole in it that allowed the trees rings to be viewed. It was a shame that the camera wouldn't pick up all of the shades of green in the leaves. Steve really wished he had his sketch book with him so he could draw the tree. 

"Wow buck, you weren't lying." 

Steve stood there, taking it all in.

"Let's do this." Steve said.

Bucky stood next to Steve and wrapped his arm around him. Steve pulled out the camera and extended his arm. The lens faced them and Steve position his hand so that he could hold the camera securely and also click the button. Once he thought he had gotten the camera in the right angle, he pressed the button twice causing two bright flashes of light to sting the boys in their eyes. "Ah." They both exclaimed as they rubbed their eyes.

"On our way to school, we can take the photos to the darkroom and have them developed. They'll be done by the time we get back from school."

They then walked home. 

The next morning Steve and Bucky walked down the street with the camera in Steve's hand as they headed to the darkroom. The sign outside said 3¢ per photo. Once they walked in, the man took the camera and assured that the photos would be ready by 2:00 which was right before they got out of school. It worked out perfectly. 

Once school was over, the two boys ran down the street to get to the darkroom. Steve paid the fee of 30¢ for his ten photos and they ran back to Steve's house to view them. Once they were in His room, they opened the envelope that enclosed the camera and the photos. The picture of the two was at the very bottom of the pile of photos. Steve took out the two photos and handed one to Bucky. 

"It's perfect." Said Bucky.

Steve smiled down at the copy of the first picture he had taken with his best friend.


	3. November 1930 - Down with the sickness

The Saturday morning air blew across Steve's face as he stuck his head out of his window to call for Bucky. The time was about 9:30. It was usually when both boys were awake and dressed.

"Bucky!" Steve called. "Hey Buck. Are you up?" 

There was no answer.  He heard a loud groan followed by Bucky sitting up in his bed. Steve noticed how much paler Bucky's face was. His nose was a peachy red and there were light purple circles around his eyes. "What's happened to you?" Steve asked.

"I don't feel so hot Steve." Bucky replied in a less than cheerful tone. 

"So I take it we can't hang out today?" Steve asked his voice growing sadder as he spoke. 

"I doubt my mom will let me out of this bed let alone out of the house... sorry." 

"Oh. I'll let you rest then."

"Thanks Steve. I'm sorry." Bucky ended as Steve walked out of the room. 

"Are you going outside with Bucky today?" Sarah Rogers asked her son as he walked into the kitchen to get food. 

"Not today. Bucky's sick." He answered as he opened the pantry and looked around. 

"Oh that's too bad! Maybe you should bring him one of the muffins I just made. They're still warm."

It was a perfect idea. Steve could get to hang out with Bucky, and make him feel a little better too.

"Sure." Steve replied as he grabbed something out of the pantry and sat at the kitchen table. 

Sarah placed two chocolate muffins in a small cardboard box. Once she placed on the lid, she grabbed a length of green ribbon from a spool and wrapped it around the sides and tied a bow on the top.

"Here you go." She said as she placed the box on the table next to him. 

After quickly finishing his small breakfast, he grabbed the box and headed over to Bucky's house. 

Steve waited with both hands on the box of muffins after he knocked on the door. Suddenly the apartment door opened to Ms. Winnifred Barnes bouncing Bucky's younger sister Rebecca on her hip. 

"Hi Steve. Bucky is sick. I don't think he will be able to play today." She said

"I know. I just wanted to give him these muffins my mom made." Steve responded gesturing to his box. 

"How nice." 

She moved out of the way of the door and let Steve in the apartment, patting him on the back as he walked by. 

Steve knocked on Bucky's closed bedroom door. 

"Come in" Bucky yelled followed by a cough.

Steve opened the door and walked through.

"Steve!" Bucky said, his eyes lighting up from his previously somber face, "You're here!" 

"Yeah. I wanted to bring you these muffins my mom made." Steve explained, purposely leaving out the part about how this was all his mother's idea. 

"Aw! Thanks." Bucky said as Steve handed the box to him. 

Once Bucky took the box, Steve sat on the edge of his bed. Bucky opened the box and picked up one of the muffins. 

"There still warm." He said as he bit into the soft chocolate muffin. 

"Yup. They're freshly made." Steve clarified. 

"They're delicious." Bucky said as he bit into the muffin again. This time, a semi melted chocolate chip left a brown stain on his face near his inner cheek, next to his mouth. 

"You've got something here." Steve said as he noticed it on his face.

He pointed to the same spot on his face. Bucky used the back of his hand and wiped the spot on the wrong side of his face. 

"Other side." Steve said giggling.

Bucky used his other hand to wipe off the other side of his face, missing the chocolate entirely.

"Here," Steve said. "Let me get it." 

As Steve reached out for his face, Bucky closed his eyes. Once Steve's cold hand made contact with Bucky's warm skin, Bucky opened his eyes to meet Steve's staring right back at him. Steve's hand wrapped around Bucky's jaw. He used his thumb to gently swipe the food off his face. Their eye contact was long and intense, so intense it made Steve forget he was touching Bucky's face. The corner of Steve's lips turned into a smile. So did Bucky's. Steve gently removed his hand. 

"Thanks." Bucky said. The boys conversed for hours.

As Bucky yawned, he said, "l am tired." 

He laid down in his bed curling up. 

"Well I'll see you tomorrow then." Steve said as he got off the bed and headed for the door. 

"Don't leave me." Bucky wined. "Lay down." 

After a second of thinking, he gave in, laying on the bed next to Bucky. They were facing each other. Bucky closed his eyes and fell asleep. Steve closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. 

After a few minutes, he open his eyes and stared at Bucky. He noted how calm he was compared to his usually upbeat and outstanding personality. After a few more minutes of staring, Steve was sure Bucky was asleep. 

He reached out for a small piece of messy hair that was spiking out of Bucky's head. Then twirled it in his finger. He curled it and looped it until he was bored of it. He moved on to another random piece of hair. The more hair he played with, the sleepier he grew and eventually he was asleep with his hand resting on Bucky's face. 

"Steve!" Ms. Barnes called from outside the closed door of the room.

Steve woke up and saw Bucky's face. He took in the words "Your mother is worried about you." before realizing the position of his hand and quickly yet gently whipping it away embarrassed, even though no one saw. He got up out of Bucky's bed, looked towards Bucky, and smiled as he opened the door and walked out of the room closing it behind him.


	4. June 1932 - Let's dance

With a sketch pad in his lap, Steve sat in front of the apartment building. Today, he drew Bucky. His pencil created lines that pointed up and down forming the, now, long strands of hair sprouting from his scalp. He spent extra time on the hair. It was Steve's favorite feature on Bucky. Sometimes he would sit behind Bucky and braid it. 

Since Bucky was at his after school church program he had every Wednesday, Steve had some time by himself. During this time, he usually sat on the steps drawing. He mostly drew things from nature, like waterfalls, or mountain ranges, but more often than not, he found himself drawing Bucky. As time went by, Steve started to realize how much of an impact Bucky had made in his life. With Bucky around, he was never bored. He always had someone to talk to. 

As he got distracted by his thoughts and his drawings, Steve lost track of the time, and before he knew it, Bucky was standing right in front of him saying "Hey Steve. What are you drawing?"

The sound of his voice made Steve jump. 

"Uh nothing." Steve said grabbing the sketch pad and holding it up to his chest to cover the drawing. 

"Come on. Let me see." Bucky begged. 

Steve handed the sketchbook over to him, his cheeks blushing with embarrassment. Bucky took the sketchbook and looked down at the drawing. The ends of his mouth raised as he recognized himself in the artwork.

"It's beautiful Steve, and I'm not just saying that because it's of me. You are really talented." 

Steve smiled as he looked up a Bucky, who was staring down at him. 

"Let's go upstairs." Bucky said as he handed Steve back his sketchbook and walked up the stairs. Steve followed. 

"So, I heard you were going to take that girl Margot to the school dance." Bucky asked as he plopped on his bed.

As Steve sat next to him, he said "I really want to, but I don't know if she will go with me."

"Of course she will go with you." Bucky consoled," she'd be the luckiest girl to have a guy like you asking her to the dance." 

Steve grinned, "You really think a dame like her would be seen in public with me?" 

"Well yeah! As long as you know the right dance moves." Bucky answered as he stood up and walked over to the gramophone. He placed a record in the spinner and set the needle down. 

"Stand up." He said to Steve as he rolled up his sleeves and gestured towards himself with his hands.

The soft jazz hummed in the background. Steve stood up and walked over to Bucky. 

"I'm gonna teach you how to dance." Bucky said as he stretched his arms out and wrapped them around Steve's neck. "Okay."

"Place your hands just above my hips." 

Steve obeyed. Something about the contact felt right. 

"Now, you just have to move to the music. Side to side, back and forward." 

Bucky started shifting his weight on his feet. Steve observed, and copied. 

He looked up a Bucky, who was just a few inches taller than him now.

"That's good." Bucky said with a smile.

"Its cuz' I have a good teacher." 

Bucky's smile grew even bigger. Steve felt his heart rate slow as he took in the dramatic trumpet playing in the background. He took a tiny step forward making himself closer to Bucky. Bucky lowered his hand down to Steve's back and pulled him into an embrace. Steve raised his hands up to Bucky's back and reciprocated the hug. 

Bucky lowered his head and whispered in Steve's ear "You might not want to do that on the first dance but..." 

Steve started giggling at the joke. 

"Oh Buck, you make me laugh." He said softly in Bucky's ear.

A short pause came before Bucky finally replied "You make me happy."

Steve curled his face into Bucky's firm chest. He closed his eyes as he felt the vibrations on Bucky's chest as he hummed the melody of the music. The song finally ended. Both boys sat back on the bed, legs crossed, facing each other. 

"With moves like this there is now way Margot will turn you down." 

Steve inhaled the clean scent of Bucky's room and let out, "Thanks Buck. You're the best."


	5. July 1932 - She's kinda hot though

At lunchtime, Bucky noticed that Steve seemed a little distracted. When he was eating his sandwich, Steve wouldn't look down at it like he usually would. Instead, he was staring at something behind Bucky. Curious as to what caught Steve's attention, Bucky turned and looked around.

Other than a classroom, the only thing he saw was Stacy Fishman bending over to drink from the water fountain.

"Do you see something you like?" Bucky asked Steve as he turned back around to face him. 

"No!" Steve answered, his cheeks blushing a bright pink.

"Oh whatever!" Bucky replied. "Go ask her out." 

Steve's eyes widened, "Are you kidding me?" He blurted. "A girl like her would never go out with a guy like me."

"Don't doubt yourself Steve." Bucky said in attempts to boost Steve's self-esteem. "You're adorable, and sweet. What else could a girl ask for?"

They were both shocked after hearing the words Bucky spoke; Bucky because he had just realized what he had just said, and Steve because Bucky just admitted that he thought he was adorable and sweet.

"Come on! She's getting away!" Bucky said in order to divert the attention to Stacy who was standing up and walking away from the water fountain. 

"Ugh, Fine." Steve whispered as he stood up and ran to Stacy who was making her way to the hallway.

Bucky grinned while watching Steve walk over to the blonde girl. 

"Um... It's Stacy right?" Steve projected, once he was close enough for her to hear.

The girl turned around. Her intimidating green eyes peered down at him. 

"Yeah," she answered. "I don't think I know your name."

"It's Steve." He said as he held hand out for her to shake.

She replied "Well hiya Steve. What do you need?" As she shook his hand.

"Well, I had seen you around school, and I was just wondering if you wanted to go on a date sometime." He asked. 

After a few seconds of thought, he noticed only once side of her mouth form a smile. "Um sure. When and where?" She finally answered.

Steve stammered to himself for a second before proposing their date be at the ice cream stand in the park on Thursday at 4:00. Stacy agreed and walked into the hall of the school. 

"So, how did it go?" Bucky asked once Steve sat down.

"We're getting ice cream on Thursday." Steve answered. 

"You did it!" Bucky congratulated. 

"Yup." Steve said as he picked up his sandwich and resumed eating. 

***

Bucky laid on Steve's bed as Steve buttoned down his white shirt. The time was 3:30 on Thursday afternoon. 

"I don't know if I can do this." Steve said to Bucky, his hands visibly shaking as he straightened out his collar. 

"Of course you can." Bucky tried to reassure.

Steve picked up his brown tie from the bed and wrapped it around his neck. His frantic hands attempted and failed to knot his tie several times. Small grunts from Steve echoed through the room. Bucky noticed and stood up. 

He walked over to Steve and led his hands away from the tie, leaving them at his sides. Steve sighed as Bucky straightened out his collar again and tied his tie for him. 

"Just be calm, Breathe, Speak clearly, and you will be fine." He said to Steve as he looked him in his eyes. 

"I will." Steve replied returning the stare. 

"Go get her punk." Bucky demanded.

Steve's lips quivered as he pulled Bucky into a hug. "Will do, jerk." Steve replied. 

Bucky's eyes ached and dampened as he felt Steve squeeze him tightly. 

"I better get going."

Both boys walked out of the house. Steve waved back to his friend as he walked down the hallway. With his hands in his pockets, Bucky walked up to his apartment. Once he was inside his room, he closed the door behind him and laid on the bed. He looked up at the ceiling. 

"Am I really jealous of Stacy for getting to go on a date with Steve?" He asked himself. 

***

Once Steve had arrived at the ice cream stand at the park, he sat down on the bench in front of it. The time was now 3:56. Every once in a while, he looked around the park for Stacy. The time was finally 4:02 when Steve finally spotted her walking towards him. She was wearing a lemon yellow dress that had white lace around the bottom edges, sleeves, and neckline. He stood up and walked towards her. 

"Hey Stacy!" Steve said with one of his sweet smiles. 

"Hi Steve." She said with a wave and a grin. 

"Did you want ice cream?" Steve asked. 

"Um, sure!" She said as she adjusted the flaps of her white cardigan.

The two kids stood side by side in the line of the ice cream stand. There were two people in front of them.

"What flavor do you like?" Steve asked. 

"I'll take chocolate please." Stacy answered.

Chocolate was Bucky's favorite flavor.

"What flavor do you like?" She asked Steve.

He answered "pistachio." 

"You know," Stacy commented, "I've never really been a big fan of pistachio." 

Now a little confused, Steve responded "oh." 

Once they had bought their desserts, they sat down on the park bench. 

"I think I should confess something." Steve said.

Stacy seemed a little more interested in him.

"This kinda is my first date." He finished. 

"Oh wow." Stacy responded. "You know, you're not exactly what I would go for, but for your first date, you did pretty well by buying me my ice cream."

What was that supposed to mean? You're not exactly what I would go for? Steve chuckled at her comment hiding his nonexistent self-confidence with a teeth-bearing grin. 

"So," Steve started. "What do you like to do in your free time?" 

Stacy licked her cone then answered "I like to curl my hair, and beautify myself." 

Steve smiled as he complimented "Well you are obviously pretty good at it." Gesturing to her flawlessly curled hair. 

"Aw, thanks!" She said as she reached out to playfully hit Steve on his shoulder.

The force alone was enough to knock Steve over, causing him to almost fall off the bench. 

"Oh my goodness." She laughed as she helped Steve reposition himself on the seat.

As if Steve wasn't already nervous about going on his date, he was now embarrassed that a playful punch from a girl could send him flying off a park bench. 

In attempt to change the subject, Stacy asked "Are you glad the school year is almost over?"

"Uh, yeah.'' Steve answered, ''I got really good grades this year."

"Lucky you." Stacy replied. "My grades are garbage." 

"Oh wow." He answered.

He was now getting the impression that Stacy was just a pretty face. She didn't really have anything going for her academically, and all she cares about are her looks. 

Their awkward and pointless conversations continued.

Once Stacy had finished her ice cream, she said "I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick. I'll be right back."

Steve nodded as he watched Stacy walk away. The time was now 4:15. He ate his ice cream while he waited for her to return. By 4:20, she was still not back. She's probably still trying to find a bathroom, he thought to himself, we are in a park after all. He looked down at his watch, the time read 4:36. By now, he was convinced she wasn't coming back, but he couldn't bring his self to get up and walk home. So there he sat on the bench, in a small lump of depression. He didn't know what he would say to Bucky when he asked how it had gone, he was just tired of everything. 

***

As the clock stroke 6:37, Bucky finished his push-ups and whipped the sweat off his face with a towel. All afternoon he thought of Steve. He hoped his date was going well. It had to, seeing that way as he had been gone for nearly 2 hours. A burst of intuition deep down in his mind told him satisfy his curiosity, and go to the park to see if he could find Steve and see how his date was going. He wouldn't approach Steve, he would just observe from a distance. Without assessing the possible consequences, he grabbed his jacket and hurried to the park.

He knew where to go. He and Steve had been to the ice cream stand many times together. When he got there, he was not surprised to see Steve sitting on the same bench they usually sat on. What startled him was the fact that Steve was alone, just sitting there, leaning over with his hand in the head. Bucky watched as he hid behind a tree. Steve sat there, his breathing visibly somber, rubbing his temples red. After a long, shaky breath, he lost it and started crying. Bucky instantly felt for Steve. He could easily comfort him; just like he did after the school dance when Margot abandoned Steve on the dance floor. Steve's heartbreaking sobs became unbearable to watch, so Bucky decided to approach him.

"Steve!?" He called out. 

There was no use being discreet. At this point he was practically saving Steve. Steve looked up, his big blue eyes twitching in the pools of liquid dripping from his face. He stood up and ran towards Bucky whose arms were outstretched in preparation for a hug. When Steve met him, all the air was squeezed out of his lungs. Steve had a death grip around Bucky's ribs. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve. His hands drifted up towards Steve's hair. Bucky could hear Steve wheezing in emotional pain. Their hug was long and enduring. Neither of them seemed to mind. Steve finally released and looked up at Bucky. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

Quick to come up with a lie, Bucky responded "It was getting late and you weren't back yet. I was worried, so I came here to make sure you weren't being beaten up in an alley again."

Steve chuckled and thanked him.

"So what in the world happened to you?" Bucky asked expecting an answer.

"It was going well," Steve lied, "then she said she had to go to the bathroom, and never came back."

"Wow." Bucky said genuinely disappointed. "What a nice person." 

They headed home after realizing how late it was. 

As they made their way down the pavement, Steve sniffled and rubbed his arms in order to warm himself. It was one of the colder summer nights. Bucky watched him and took off his jacket, placing it around Steve. It was so big on him. 

"Are you sure? I'm fine." Steve asked.

"No. You've been hurt enough tonight, the last thing you need is to be cold." Bucky answered. 

"Thanks." Steve whispered as they continued down the street. 

When they made it home, together they climbed the stairs, and stood in front of Steve's apartment. 

"Thanks for rescuing me." Steve said to Bucky. 

"Anything for you." Bucky said as he slowly walked away. 

Steve turned towards him as he unlocked the apartment door. 

"Hey Buck," he called, "Wanna spend the night?"

Bucky smirked.

"Sure," He said, "If you want." 

The boys walked into the kitchen. Sarah Rogers was cooking dinner.

"Hey boys." She greeted. "Are you staying for dinner? "She asked Bucky. 

"Yes ma'am, and if it's alright with you, I would like to spend the night." Bucky questioned.

"That's fine by me." Ms. Rogers answered with a smile.

Steve's mom had always been so supportive of Steve, and would almost never deny him an opportunity to hang out with his friends. She knew he wasn't the best at socializing, and would never do anything to weaken any of Steve's friendships. 

The three of them ate dinner at the table. Steve was forced to explain his epic fail of a date to his mother. Once they were excused, they made their way to Steve's room. Bucky stripped down to his undershirt and boxers. Steve did the same. The Brooklyn apartment wasn't big enough for a spare bedroom, or even for a small makeshift bed on the floor, so the boys were forced to share a bed. It didn't bother either of them. Bucky got in the left side, and Steve got in the right. 

"Goodnight." Steve said as he settled on his side.

"'Night." Bucky replied as he settled on his back with his right hand underneath his head.

After a few seconds Steve whispered "it's so cold in here, the damn boiler doesn't work in my room."

Bucky tapped him on his back and Steve turned towards him. With his hands, he gestured for Steve to come closer. Steve complied and turned his body to face him. He reached his right arm over Bucky's chest, his hand resting on Bucky's shoulder. Bucky placed his arm around Steve's back and closed his eyes. 

"Better." Steve replied as he took in Bucky's warmth. 

In the morning, Sarah quietly walked into Steve's room to drop off some of His clean laundry. She was in no urge to wake the boys, as school had been canceled that Friday so they could re-paint the classrooms. She slowly opened the dresser across from Steve's bed which had a mirror above it. She looked into the mirror and could see the two boys in bed. A surprised and discouraged expression spread across her face as she noticed the position in which the boys were sleeping. She swiftly finished organizing Steve's clothes and promptly exited the room.


	6. April 1934 - Kokomo

"So where are you taking me?" Steve asked as the taxi drove him and Bucky down the street.

"I told you." Bucky answered, "It's a surprise." 

Steve rolled his eyes as the surrounding area started to become unfamiliar. Bucky wouldn't even say where they were going out loud. He wrote down their destination on a piece of paper, then handed it to the driver. Steve grew concerned as their travel time grew to be close to 30 minutes. 

After a long while of driving, they reached a small town. Steve could see what looked like a coastline and a Ferris wheel out in the distance. 

"No!" He said to Bucky in an excited tone, "You did not just take me to Coney Island!"

"I kinda did." Bucky replied with a smile. 

"How did you know I've wanted to go?"

"Well, I remember we were walking home from school one day, and we past that soda shop, and there was a poster for Coney Island hung up in the window. The way your eyes lit up when you looked at the poster was a dead giveaway."

Steve laughed then asked "Man, do I have the coolest friend or what?" 

The taxi dropped them off right in front of the board walk, and after Bucky paid the fair, Steve watched the yellow cab that read "lucky star" on the side speed off. The two boys walked down the pier and took in the beach. It was littered with people. 

"Hah," Bucky laughed, "they look like ants from up here."

"Yeah." Steve agreed, "I really wish I had my camera." 

"I heard that on their busiest days, there can be up to a million people in the park and on the beach." Bucky said in attempts to impress him. 

"Wow! That's a lot." Steve replied.

The two boys walked side by side into the main walkways. 

"Are you hungry?" Bucky asked Steve.

"Uh, yeah." He answered, "I want to try one of those famous Nathan's hotdogs."

 

"Yeah, me too." Bucky said as they approached a table near the hotdog stand. "Save the table, and I'll go get them for us."

Steve sat down and watch Bucky join a long line of people. The slow moving line became boring for Steve to watch. 

"So how was your date with John?" He overheard a girl ask her friend.

"It wasn't a date!" The girl laughed. 

"Did he pay for your food?" Her friend asked.

"Yeah," the girl answered.

As she broke out in laughter, the girl's friend replied "Then it was a date." 

Steve chuckled to himself. Bucky was paying for Steve's food but it wasn't a date. Deep down Steve kinda wished it was. 

Bucky finally returned to the table with two hotdogs in his hands. He placed a hot dog in front of Steve and sat down.

"That was a long line!" Bucky said.

"I saw." Steve responded as he bit into his hotdog.

"Do you like it?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah." He answered, "It's really good."

They ate their hotdogs and observed the surrounding people. 

"So what do we do first?" Steve asked. 

"Well, the Cyclone is right there." Bucky said pointing in the direction of the roller coaster. 

"I don't know about that." Steve said, "You know, it has a 90 ft. drop and 3 consecutive loops."

"Aw, come on Steve live a little." Bucky said as he ran toward the Cyclone. Steve reluctantly followed.

As they stood in line, he mentally prepared himself as Bucky reassured him.

"You're not gonna die. It will be fine!" He would say. 

As they moved closer towards the front of the line, Steve grew more and more anxious.

"Are you ready?" Bucky asked Steve as the ride conductor allowed them into the roller coaster. 

"I'm as ready as I will ever be." Steve said as he sat down in the cart. 

Once Bucky was seated, he placed his hand on Steve's thigh and squeezed. "It'll be fine." He said to him with a reassuring smile. 

The coaster started moving forward slowly. It quickly picked up speed and they were suddenly rising and dipping on the tracks. For the most part, Steve was fine. He was a little bit irritated during the drops and the times when the coaster turned on its side, but the part that really messed with him was the 3 loops. 

When the cart reached the high area where the loops were about to begin, Bucky said to Steve, "Here it comes." right before they sped off into the cyclone. 

Steve took a deep breath as he felt himself being lunged forward into the spiral. Bucky let out a whoop, while Steve started to feel sick and light headed. Steve closed his eyes, and before he knew it the ride was over and the conductor was leading people to the exit.

Both boys stood up out of the coaster and walked towards the exit gate. Steve walked faster than normal. 

"Wasn't that great?" Bucky asked Steve as he chased after him. 

He could hear Steve coughing and gagging as he ran toward the pier. Steve ran as fast as he could to the edge of the boardwalk. The momentum of his speed sent him crashing into the metal railings. The instant he composed himself, he was vomiting into the ocean below. 

Once Bucky noticed what was happening to Steve, he stared moving faster. 

"Jeez Stevie," he said once he made it to him. "If you couldn't handle it, you could have just said... I didn't need to ride it." 

His words came with guilt and regret. Steve wiped his mouth with his hand and turned towards Bucky. 

"No, it's alright. I guess I was just... not feeling good." He said to him. 

With hints of concern, Bucky suggested, "Well, we better go home now. So you can get rest." 

"Why?'' Steve replied, ''We're already here. It was just a case of motion sickness, not a big deal."

"I mean," Bucky started, "If you promise not to puke again, let's go have some fun." Off the boys went onto the famous streets. 

The rode the smaller rides, like the Ferris wheel, and the bumper cars. Bucky was extra cautious as to not push Steve into doing anything too crazy. Their day was full of laughter and fun. 

Just as they finished all the attractions, they headed to the gift shop. 

"So, since you didn't know we were coming here and you couldn't bring your camera, I thought we could get one of those guys to take a picture of us in front of the ocean." Bucky offered. 

"That's a great idea!" Steve returned. 

They went on to find a worker with a camera. They posed right in the middle of the board walk. The cyclone was in the background. Steve stood up straight with Bucky's arm wrapped around his neck. Bucky was looking down at Steve with a smile. Steve looked up at Bucky and smiled back. The scene was immortalized when the flash of the camera shined on them. They would now have something to remember the surprise trip that was both fun and awkward. One day they would be able to laugh about it.


	7. February 1935 - I kissed a girl

"So you remember that girl Paula?" Bucky asked Steve as he twirled a stray piece of green ribbon in his hands.

"The brunette?" Steve questioned. 

"Yeah, her." Bucky answered, "Well, it turns out, she has a friend named Samantha, so I set up a little double date for us four."

"Great." Steve replied cheerfully. 

Internally, he was reluctant to the idea. He figured the date wouldn't go well because of all of his past experiences, like when he was 14 and Margot left him at the school dance to be with her friends, and when He went on his first date with Stacy and she ditched him half way through.'' At least Bucky would be there'' he thought. 

"It's this Friday in that new diner around the corner at 6:00." Bucky informed.

"Cool." 

Friday came sooner than Steve had expected. Before he knew it, he was lacing his shoes and combing his hair in preparation for his double date. The white shirt and brown pants he wore were freshly ironed, and his black suspenders ran up his front in two straight lines. As he walked over to Bucky's house, he asked himself. "Why did I agree to this? I don't even remember the girl's name. This is not going to work out, I know it." 

A few seconds after he knocked on Bucky's front door Bucky opened the door and asked "Are you ready?" 

He was wearing a brown shirt which he filled beautifully. It was neatly tucked into his black pants. His recently cut hair was gelled up and over to the side. "Yup." Steve answered. 

They walked down the street to the building labeled Maurice's diner. Bucky opened the door and Steve walked in. Bucky walked up to the booth table that was closest to the bathrooms and sat down. Bucky and Paula would sit facing the front entrance; Steve and his date would sit towards the bathrooms.

A waitress with bright red hair greeted the boys soon after they sat down. 

"So what can I get you guys to drink?" She said as she handed them menus.

"I'll take a vanilla milkshake." Bucky requested.

"And you?" The woman asked Steve. 

"Um... I'll just have a water please." Steve answered. 

"I'll be right back." She said as she walked away to get their drinks. 

"Are you nervous?" Bucky asked. 

"Yes, very." Steve thought to himself. 

"A little." He actually said. 

"Don't be." Bucky reassured him. 

"She'll fall for you." Bucky said, "Just like I did." He thought to himself. 

The waitress came back with their drinks. 

"Have you decided what you want to eat?" She asked as she set the cups on the table and pulled out her order slips. 

Bucky started "Actually we're going to wait for our dates." 

"Alright sweetie," the woman replied and walked away. 

Steve took a sip of his water. Out of nowhere Bucky started waving towards the entrance of the diner. Steve looked in that direction to see Paula walking alone towards their table. "Great." Steve whispered under his breath. 

"Hey Buck!" Paula greeted as she got closer to the booth. 

Bucky stood up and they hugged. 

As they both sat down, Paula said "Hey Steve." 

Steve watched the words form from her lips that were covered in the brightest red lipstick cosmetic stores had to sell.

"Hey." Steve said as he waved to her. 

"I'm so sorry. Samantha couldn't make it. She had too much studying to do. "

"Oh that's too bad." Steve responded. 

Bucky mouthed "I'm sorry." to Steve, and Steve mouthed back "It's okay." 

But it wasn't okay. Steve would have to sit through this awkward dinner as Bucky and Paula flirted. 

The waitress came back as she noticed Paula arrive, and took everyone's order. Steve tapped his thumbs on the table and stared at the two sitting in front of him. He was mad at Bucky for setting him up on this date. He was mad at Paula for being here with Bucky. He was mad at Samantha for some reason even though she did nothing. The food finally arrived. Steve now had something to focus on that wasn't Bucky, Paula, or Samantha. He lifted up his hot grilled cheese sandwich and took a bite. He watched as Paula picked up a French fry off of her plate and fed it to Bucky. It made Steve sick to watch. 

Once Steve had finished his food, he played around with the ice cubes that were in his water glass using his straw. Paula leaned over to Bucky and kissed him on the cheek. Her obnoxiously red lips left an outline on Bucky's face. Steve internally cringed at the sight. 

After a few more minutes of silently watching and growing more and more annoyed, Steve finally had enough and said "I'm going to the bathroom."

Steve locked the door behind him. He leaned over the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He turned on the cold water and splashed his face. After using his sleeve to dry himself off, and a few seconds of heavy breathing, Steve opened the door. As he walked out, he stopped; a bus-boy was blocking his way with a cart. 

As he waited for the cart to move, he could hear Paula's voice in a whisper saying "I just feel so bad for Steve. He's just watching us talk. I mean if Samantha wasn't being such a twit, she wouldn't have deliberately blown him off."

"Wait... She didn't come tonight because she didn't want to meet Steve?" He heard Bucky ask. 

"Yeah! Once I told her who Steve was, she realized what he looked like and how skinny he was, and backed out."

"That's awful!" 

Steve took in their words and went numb at this point. He needed to be numb in order to fake that he didn't just hear what they had said. 

The bus-boy finally moved his cart and Steve sat back down. 

"That was delicious. Thanks Buck." Paula said as she hugged his arm. 

"Yeah, it was really good." Steve added. 

Bucky signaled to the waitress for the bill. The total came out to $1.75.

"How much do I owe?" Steve asked. 

"It's on me." Bucky said.

All three people walked out of the diner after Bucky had paid. 

"I better get to the bus." Paula said as she walked away.

"See you around." Bucky said as she disappeared into the darkness of the New York night.

The atmosphere was thick with awkwardness once Paula left. 

"I'm sorry it didn't work out for you." Bucky said as they slowly walked back to their apartments. 

"Yeah? Well I'm glad it worked out for you!" Steve replied. His words came out more harsh and jaded than he expected. 

"Woah! What's wrong?" Bucky asked. 

"Oh come on! Don't act like you don't know!" Steve yelled at him, attracting the attention of the people on the streets. 

"What?" Bucky asked, much calmer than Steve. 

"I am not doing this here! In front of all these people." Steve murmured to himself as he grabbed Bucky by his shirt collar and led him into the alley behind the restaurant. 

"You drag me here to this stupid diner, expecting me to make friends with some random girl I had never met before, then the stupid girl won't even show because she thinks I'm too skinny! And to make things even better, your smoking hot brunette with red lips comes in here to witness my embarrassment!" Steve screamed at him. "How would you like it!?" 

Single tears were now running down his face and onto his neck which was now red from all of the veins that were practically bursting through his skin. 

"I was just trying to help." Bucky whispered. 

"OH? You were just trying to help?" Steve yelled.

He wiped his face with the back of his hand. His breathing was shaky and heavy. Bucky put his hands in his pockets and took a few steps closer to Steve.

They were close enough for Steve to feel Bucky's warm breath on his face. 

"If you even THINK about touching me, I will NEVER speak to you aga--" Steve's threat was interrupted by a welcoming kiss from Bucky. 

Bucky put his hand on the side of Steve's face, and Steve started to kiss back. Once Bucky pulled away, he smiled. 

Steve looked up at Bucky. "I needed that." Steve confessed as he fixed the hairs Bucky had disheveled. 

"You see," Bucky said as he stared into Steve's eyes. "I need you, not some shallow girl, or a half-wit in a dress. I can see you for who you are. Not for who you're not. Now let's do this!" He continued with a suggestive wink at the end.

Steve and Bucky rushed to Steve's apartment. The entire way home, Steve wondered what exactly 'this' was. But the adrenaline overpowered logic. Once they were able to get past Steve's sleeping mother, they walked into Steve's room and closed the door behind them. Bucky quickly unbuttoned and removed his shirt. Steve followed and soon was shirtless too, unsure of how far they would take it that night. Bucky grabbed Steve at the waist and pulled him closer. Their lips met as Steve held Bucky's head in both hands. Their cold bodies clashed and collided with each other as their kissing and breathing became more and more erratic. 

They stamped hard, yet tender kisses up and down each other's faces and necks. Steve grew lost in the motions and all his thoughts disappeared. Now it was just Bucky. It didn't matter that he had just embarrassed himself in public or that he had just been insulted by some idiotic girl. All that he cared about was Bucky. He had known him for five years, and now he was finally opening up to him and enjoying the touch with him that he had always wanted since the day they met. 

Their making out lasted for a few more minutes before Steve had completely forgiven Bucky. Steve sat on his bed, and Bucky sat next to him. 

"So," Steve asked, "Are we like, a thing now?"

"I mean, if you want." Bucky answered. 

"Yeah, I'd like that." Steve said as he slowly leaned in and kissed him lovingly.


	8. September 1935 (part 1) - You should have raised a baby girl

Steve and Bucky had been going steady for eight months now. They were carful not to be too affectionate in public, as they would probably be arrested. They tried not to think about possible ramifications, all that mattered was that they loved each other. The doctors could call them sick, but at least they were together. As far as their relationship went physically, they primarily turned to kissing and making out. They never got too intimate with each other. Neither of them knew how. 

    

The time was around 7:30 when Steve and Bucky headed to the movie theaters. They planned on seeing 'The Bride of Frankenstein'. 

"I hate horror movies. You own me for this." Steve said to Bucky as they stood in the ticket lines. 

"Yeah, Yeah. I'll make it up to you later." Bucky replied, with another one of his winks. 

Ever since they had made their relationship official, Steve noticed how much more Bucky was winking. It was kind of adorable. Once it was their turn to buy tickets, they walked up to the sales booth. 

"Two adults for the bride of Frankenstein." Bucky requested. 

The cost for both tickets was $0.28. After Bucky paid the price, they were let in through the large red doors. 

After buying popcorn and a small bag of licorice, they settled into the seats of the theater. The room was dimly lit. They lifted up the arm rest on the seats and got closer together. No one even noticed. The movie started. The next hour and 45 minutes were filled with dramatic trumpet scores, and eerie screams. During some of the more frightening scenes, Steve hid his eyes in the pit of Bucky's elbow, which was wrapped around him throughout the majority of the film. When the movie let out, the boy walked out of the theater. The windy night was all around them as they walked down the street. The walk was wordless. The lovers just stared at each other, and the mere playful "intimidation" was enough to make both of them laugh. 

They made their way back to Bucky's apartment. "Now," Bucky started as he closed his bedroom door behind Steve, "is when I make it up to you." He finished as he grabbed Steve by the shoulders and pinned him to the bed. 

Steve was shocked and pleased. While he was still standing, Bucky took off his shirt, one button at a time. He made sure to give Steve enough time to copy. Once both of them were shirtless, Bucky got on the bed, straddling Steve at the hips. He leaned over, and started pecking at Steve. The payback lasted a while.

"Hey Bucky. Are you home?" the boys heard as the door opened. 

It was Bucky's mother staring at them. Bucky was still on top of Steve. He quickly whipped his head around. When he saw the look of sheer horror on his mother's face, he jumped off of Steve. Steve could see her too, and quickly grabbed at his shirt. He put it on and used the open flaps to cover his bare chest. 

"Bucky! What the hell are you doing? With Steve?" her face was red with anger. 

"Mom, let me explain." Bucky started calmly. He rarely ever got angry. 

"It's not normal! How could let my only son be like this, and not only that, but turn his childhood best friend too?" she continued. She used the word 'turn' as if homosexuality could be transmitted.  

"Mom," he started, his voice a little aggravated. 

"You're just sick. We can take you to a doctor. You too Steve." She interrupted. 

Steve was standing far away from Bucky. His eyes started watering after he heard his boyfriend's mother call him sick. Bucky saw the helplessness in Steve's eyes. 

"Mom! That's enough! I'm not sick! Steve's not sick! How dare you say that about us?" 

Bucky was now furious. Tears were now running down his face with every unsteady breath. 

"I won't take any of this to heart, you're obviously not in the right state of mind, and your judgement is off but-"

"Mother!" Bucky screamed, "You need to understand." He continued as he composed himself. "I'm in love with him, mom. I never thought this would happen to me. I feel like a different person when were together, and If I could, I would marry him tomorrow." 

Although Steve was shaken up about the whole situation, he was truly enlightened by Bucky's words. It didn't matter if he only said them to embellish his story, all that mattered was that he said it, and Steve was fine with that. 

Bucky's mother took a deep breath. "I'm going to go to sleep, and when I wake up, I am going to march you down to that church, and you are going to pray for forgiveness. Steve, would you like to join us? I'm sure your mother won't mind."

Steve stood there, speechless. 

"Well then, Steve, you know where the door is. Goodnight boys." She concluded as she walked out of the room and slammed the door behind her. 

Bucky turned and faced the bed. He started violently punching his mattress. Steve walked over to Bucky, and in attempts to comfort him he whispered to him "You can spend the night if you want. "As he hugged him from behind. 

The boys walked into the apartment. Sarah was asleep. They walked over to Steve's room and got in his bed like they often did. They settled in next to each other. 

"Good night. " Bucky said as he closed his eyes. 

"Night." Steve replied. The room was silent for a second. 

"Did you mean what you said?" Steve asked. 

"What?" Bucky asked. 

"The part where you said that you would marry tomorrow if you could." Steve responded. 

"I meant every single word of that." Bucky answered. 

"Well," Steve chuckled," I would say yes tomorrow...if I could." Bucky smiled and kissed Steve's hair. They fell asleep soon after.


	9. September 1935 (part 2) - I should have been a better son

Steve woke up to the sunlight shining in his face. He thought about what happened last night. The thought of Bucky's mother barging in and taking Bucky from him, was terrifying. He laid in the bed a little bit longer before Bucky finally woke up. 

"Good morning Love." He said to Steve as he notice that he was also awake. 

"Good morning Sunshine." Steve replied. 

"I know you kinda just woke up and all," Bucky started, "But you might want to tell your mom about last night before my mom does. That woman is all talk and there is really nothing stopping her from coming here and blabbing." 

Steve sighed. "Your right. But how would I do it?" 

"Just... Sit her down, and tell her... gently." Bucky suggested. 

"Can you do it with me?" 

"Sure." Bucky agreed. 

The boys got out of the bed and walked into the kitchen. "Hey boys!" Sarah greeted. "I just made some food if you want some." 

"No, thank you though." Steve said. "We actually need to talk about something." Bucky and Steve both sat down at the table next to her. 

"Okay" she said in a concerned voice. 

"So Um... What I mean to say is... Me and..." Steve started. He just couldn't think of the words to say. "Bucky and I have been friends for as long as I can remember, and as time went on, I guess we got even closer. Like really close." He finally verbalized. 

"I don't think I understand what you're trying to say." Sarah interrupted. 

"Well it's just that, I don't see Bucky as a friend anymore," He paused as he noticed her eyebrows raised in concern, "I see him as my love." He finally continued. 

Sarah's eyes swelled with water. She covered her mouth with her hand.

"So your saying that both of you are... homosexual?" She asked, her voice breaking In between certain words. 

"Yeah." Steve answered. He was now crying softly. Bucky sat there, biting his lips. She stood up and gestured for Steve to hug her. He stood up and embraced her. 

"So you're fine with it?" He asked. 

"Steve, you're my son. I love you. It doesn't matter if you like boys, you will always be mine." 

Steve was now sobbing into his mother's shoulder. He was so relieved by her response. They finally pulled away from their hug, and sat back down. 

"So, how long have you been together?" she asked 

"Around 8 months." Steve answered. 

"Does Winnifred know?" She continued.

"About that," Bucky interjected. "She caught us kissing yesterday and wasn't exactly happy to say the least." Sarah nodded. "She plans on taking me to church today, and making me pray for my sins."

Sarah was appalled by what Bucky said. "How could a mother do that to her own child?" Neither boys new how to answer. "Well, If either of you need me, I'm here for you." Both of them thanked her.

Bucky stayed and ate breakfast. They were happy that they found one person who had their backs. Once everyone was done eating, Steve walked Bucky over to the front door. 

"I'll see you later." Bucky said as he leaned in and softly kissed Steve on his head. 

"Good luck." Steve said as he watched Bucky walk down the hall to his apartment. 

Bucky swallowed hard before turning the key to unlock the door. Behind the door, he found his mother sitting on the couch, watching television. She looked at him without saying a word. He just walked to his room. Hours later, He heard a knock on his door. After a few seconds, the door was open and his mother was sitting on the side of his bed. 

"I'm sorry." She said." I won't take you to see anybody." 

Bucky didn't so much a blink, when he heard what she said. "Okay," He replied. Still without even looking at her. 

She leaned over and kissed him on his cheek. He just laid there paralyzed. She walked out of the room and closed the door. 

With nothing else to do, he started looking around his room. His eyes landed on the framed photo on his night stand. It was the picture they took at Coney Island. He reached out for it and brought it close to his face. The picture alone instantly made him smile, then remember that day. It was nice to reminisce about good times.


	10. March 1936 - Serenade in blue

Bucky walked Steve down the street, with his hands over Steve's eyes. "Tadah!" he cheered as he removed his hands. Steve saw the restaurant in front of them. They were standing in front of Elroy's Steakhouse. 

"Buck!?'' Steve squealed, "Is this why you told me to dress nice?" he asked in reference to his newly pressed clothes. Bucky grinned as he opened the door for Steve. 

They walked up to the front desk. "James, for two." Bucky told the woman behind the counter.

"How are we even going to afford this?" he whispered to Bucky as the hostess led them to their seat. 

They sat down in a booth across from each other. The tables were covered in white table cloths, and the crystal chandler sparkled in the middle of the room. 

"I've been saving up for a while." Bucky answered. He had recently gotten a job sweeping the floors at a barber shop. Steve's pre-existing smile grew even bigger.

"Hello, my name is Claire, I will be you server tonight. What would you like to drink?'' a worker wearing an all-black uniform asked. 

"A water please." Steve requested. 

"I'll have the same" Bucky added. The waitress left to get their drinks. 

"What do you think you're going to get?'', Bucky asked. 

Steve flipped through the menu. "Probably some kind of pasta." He answered. "What about you?'' 

Bucky thought for a second before finally answering. "A steak." 

By then, the waitress was back with their water. "What would you boys like to eat?'' she asked. 

Steve started, "I'll have the Chicken Alfredo." 

"Okay." Claire responded. ''And for you?'' she asked Bucky. 

''The sirloin, cooked medium well please." He answered. Claire walked off after collecting the menus. 

Steve looked around at the restaurant. The diners were mostly couples, presumably on dates. He kept on looking around until he felt something nudge his foot. Surprised, he looked at Bucky. His face was casual, and his hands were folded on the table. He looked Bucky straight in the eyes, and felt another nudge. They both softly grinned. Steve began to blush when he felt Bucky's foot rise higher up his shin. Their game of footsie continued until Claire finally came back with their food. 

''I have an Alfredo, and a sirloin." She said as she placed the plates on the table. The dishes were garnished with leafy greens. 

"Thank you." Bucky said to Claire before she left the table. 

The boys tore their food apart, barely leaving time in between bites to talk. It wasn't often that they would be able to eat out, and when they did, there was nothing stopping them from having a good time. They finished their food and Bucky asked for the bill. The total came out to $6.18. 

"Jesus Buck! Do you have enough?" Steve asked once he saw the cost. 

"Don't worry, I got it." He calmed. He pulled out seven dollar bills and folded them into the folder. They left the rest for Claire. Bucky once again opened the door Steve, and after he walked through Bucky followed. 

As they walked down the street, Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve. Steve looked up at him and bit his lip. Bucky looked to his left and saw the empty alley next to him. He quickly whipped Steve into the alley. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky's neck and jumped up, gripping his legs around Bucky's waist. Bucky held Steve in place by pinning his back up against the alley wall, and using his left hand as a seat for extra support. His right hand was pressed against the wall above Steve's head. He leaned in close enough for Steve to grab Bucky's face and tenderly start kissing him. 

There was something about the way they kissed that was robotic. The way their bodies connected, and swayed together timed and repetitive, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Neither of them minded. This way, they both new what to expect from each other. They stayed in the alley for a while, hidden from all the other people behind the brick walls of the restaurant.

By 9:30, Steve and Bucky were laying on Steve's bed drinking the cream sodas they had stopped and bought at the corner store on their way home. 'The Way You Look Tonight' drummed in the background of their conversations. 

"I don't know if you realize this," Steve started "but I love you." 

Bucky smiled. The apples of his cheeks began to blush. "Well, I don't know if you realize this Stevie,'' Steve loved it when Bucky called him Stevie'' but I love you more'. He took another drink of his soda, and smiled a smile that made his cheeks cramp.


	11. September 1936 - She keeps me warm

Steve sat in the chair next to his mother's hospital bed. The words the doctor said were finally setting in. His mother had Tuberculosis, and she wasn't going to make. His quiet sobbing was barely heard over the sounds of Sarah's wheezing as she breathed. The mask Steve was required to wear, covered his mouth and nose. It left his eyes exposed for Sarah to see the tears he cried. It pained her even more to see her son sad. 

Steve buried his hand in his pockets, leaned back, and closed his eyes. He couldn't even talk to his mother. It hurt for her to speak. 

"Um, I'm here for Sarah Rogers." He heard a familiar voice say to a nurse across the room. 

He looked up to see Bucky. The nurse had given him a mask, and he was putting it on as he walked towards Sarah's bed. Bucky pulled a stray chair and placed it next to Steve. He arranged the flowers he brought for her in with the other flowers already in the vase on her night stand. 

"Hey babe." Bucky whispered to Steve. No one could hear him over the loud coughing of the other patients. 

"Hi." Steve answered, his voice slightly muffled. 

"How is she?" Bucky asked. Steve looked up at him, his eyes swollen from the tears. 

"Not good." He managed to say. "They say it a matter of weeks, maybe days." The words were hard for him say. It ripped him apart just thinking about what life would be like without his mom. She was the last of his family. 

''St-Steve, Bucky." She inserted. Both boys got closer to hear her weak voice. 

"Before I came here, I worked out a deal with Kevin, our landlord, and when I'm gone, some of my money is going towards a whole years rent on the apartment so you can keep living there." She continued. "In that year, I want for Bucky to move in, and for both of you to get good jobs, and to go to school so you can keep living there after the year is up." 

They were both speechless. "Mom. Thank you." Steve said as he held her hand on the bed. 

"Ma'am," Bucky Started astonished. He looked into Steve's dripping eyes with a hopeful expression. "I-I don't know what to say. "

"Just say you'll do it." She answered. Bucky smiled and nodded his head 'yes'. 

"You two are just great together, and I would hate to be the reason Steve has to move and be away from you." She concluded before both of them thanked her. She truly was the most genuine person either of them would know, probably ever. 

***

Sarah Rogers took her last agonizing breath at 11:27 am on Thursday September 26, 1936 with her son by her side. That very same day, Steve and Bucky slept in Sarah's bed. It seemed disrespectful, but it was theirs now. The sheets were not washed and still smelled like her. Simple things like seeing her clothes organized in her drawers, or the smell of her perfume was enough to make Steve remember what a great woman she was. He remembered how she would always take extra shifts to make extra money, and how she never cried when she talked about when his father. The more he thought, the more he realized that loss of his mother left a hole in him that seemingly, could only be filled by Bucky. 

After walking up, they both headed over to Bucky's apartment. Within a couple hours, Bucky's entire room was packed up into cardboard boxes, and Bucky was moved out. Winnifred did nothing to stop him. The rest of the day was spent unpacking and reorganizing their belongings. They first started out with cleaning out Sarah's things: her clothes, her make-up boxes, anything else that would remind them of her. Then, Steve took all of his clothes and items out of his room and started putting everything away. Bucky did the same. Steve hung his clothes up in the closet, and Bucky took the amour. 

The little belongings they had were all put away by nightfall and they were settled in their new living arrangement. It was such a shame that one of the best things they had ever done as a couple was overpowered by grief and death. They cooked their first meal together: pancakes, at 9:30pm. It was Sarah's recipe. 

Steve tasted the pancakes and was instantly reminded of the rushed mornings when she would make them for him. Right now, it was like everything would remind Steve of her. It didn't feel like she was dead to him. It just felt like she was talking an extra shift of the hospital. He didn't yet realize that every day would be like the last, without his mother. He sat there, sobbing into a pancake as Bucky patted him on the back. As pathetic as it seems, Steve was in denial of his mother's death, and it was up to Bucky to pull him out of this lump, when the time came of course.


	12. April 1937 - You were my teddy bear

Life was great for Bucky and Steve. They both had stable jobs at the diner, and were saving up for college. They were living in the moment and having fun with each other. With the small spending money they had, they could be found in the shops. This weekend, the boys were in their local toy store. Neither of them wanted toys, obviously, they just went for the joke factor of it. 

Bucky remembered going to this particular store with his mother when he was little. The owner of the store watched Bucky grow up and knew him by name. "Hey James!" the old man called to them as they walked into the shop. 

"Hey Mr. George!" Bucky called to him. 

"Who is this?" George asked, in reference to Steve. 

"Oh, this is Steve, he's my Bo-"Bucky caught himself. Steve looked at him with an embarrassed grin. ''He's my friend." 

"Nice to meet you Steve." George greeted. His declined hearing didn't allow him to hear Bucky's fumble. 

The store had been exactly the same as when it had first opened. Shelves lined the walls. They displayed everything from Raggedy Ann dolls, to model trains and airplanes. There was a table in the middle of the room advertising a car that was big enough for a small child to ride in. It wasn't a big store, but Steve could see why Bucky liked it. 

The couple walked through the store looking at all of the Knick-knacks resting on the shelves. Bucky would pick things up, and pretend to play with them like a child would. He grabbed an airplane and waved it around, making whooshing sounds as it passed by Steve's face. Or he would jump with the jump ropes in the open space of the room. Each activity made Steve laugh. 

After browsing the front of the store, Steve's eyes fixed to the back of the store. That wall was completely dedicated to stuffed animals. He instantly ran to it. 

"Do you like bears or something?" Bucky asked as he caught up to Steve. 

"There so cute." He squealed as he looked at all of the plush animals staring back at him. There were bears, elephants, rabbits, giraffes, tigers, zebras, dogs, cats, frogs, and just about every other animal at the Bronx Zoo. Steve stared at one end of the wall, and slowly worked his way to the other.

Along the way, he picked up a few animals, tested their fluffiness, stroked their fur, and twirled with their ears. He had been doing this for so long, that Bucky had leaned himself up against one of the displays while Steve shopped. Bucky watched as an adoring grin spread on his face. 

"Pick one." He told Steve. The preexisting smile on Steve's face widened even bigger. 

"Really?" He asked. Bucky nodded, and Steve continued looking. 

Once he reached the end of the shelves, he finally saw something he was interested in. It was a regular Teddy bear, but it was wearing a raccoon-like mask over its eyes, and a blue body suit with red arms and legs. For some odd reason, Steve thought it was the cutest thing in the world. 

"This one." Steve gestured the bear towards Bucky. 

Steve placed the bear on the counter, and George rung them up. After paying the $0.60, Steve took his bear, and they walked home. 

The weather was beautiful, yet the streets and roads were empty. Bucky looked over his shoulders to check if anyone was watching, before pulling Steve in close to kiss him on his head. Steve smiled. 

"Thanks again.'', he said as they continued to walk down the street.

It was now late and the two were curled up on the couch; one of the softer records was humming in the background. Bucky was on the outside of the spoon, and Steve was balled up inside the embrace. His arm was curled around his new bear. Both were drifting in and out of sleep. 

The time reached around 11:30, and they finally decided to move to their bed. Steve was still half asleep as he dragged his body thought the apartment to their room. Bucky got in on the left, and Steve did the same on the right; just like they always did. With the sound of the old metal fan droning on, they coiled in their sheets and were hypnotized to sleep.


	13. March 1938 - I kiss your lips again

A cricket chirped in the distance of the field as Steve and Bucky looked up at the night sky. They laid out next to each other, hands held, on an open grass field. The field was completely empty, so they had a whole acre of grass to themselves. 

A blanket was spread out underneath them. It was used to cushion them from the wet grass that snow had just melted on the day before. 

"Hey, what's that big one up there?" Steve asked as he pointed up to a particularly large orb in the sky. 

"Let's see." Bucky said as he stood up and walked over to their brand new telescope. He pointed the device towards the direction of the light, and looked around.

The glass magnified the sky, and made it harder for him to find it. Once he did, he focused the lens and the image came into view. 

"What does it look like?" Steve asked. 

"Its round, and... I think it's the one with the rings." He answered unsure. 

"Saturn?" Steve suggested, after flipping through the manual that came with the telescope.

There was a whole page dedicated to the different planets and stars that you might find while stargazing, and Steve had it open. He gestured the book towards Bucky, and Bucky looked down at it. "Yeah. That's the one." He said as he recognized the familiar shape on the paper. 

"You should really take a look at this. It's amazing" He said to Steve while moving away from the telescope, and still holding it the exact same position. Steve stood up and put his eye to the viewing glass. 

"Oh my goodness!" He exclaimed, "Is that actually real?" 

"That's so cool." Steve continued as they laid back down on the blanket. 

"I mean," Bucky rambled as he settled down, "Just imagine, there are, what? Nine planets out there, yet we are the only life. Who even knows how big the universe is? There could be another copy of us out there with green skin or something."

Steve laughed. "I don't know about that Buck, but I'm pretty happy I found the not-green version of you in this giant universe. " Steve finished as he turned on his side to face Bucky. 

Bucky mirrored, their faces now inches apart. Bucky slightly grinned. He reached his hand out, and used it to cup Steve's jaw. He pulled himself forward, into Steve's lips. Steve kissed back, enjoying the bit of warmth in the cool breeze that surrounded them. 

They could kiss out here. They could make love out here. There was no one to watch them. The night was beautiful with the starts shining down in them, and the forest of pine trees isolated them from the rest of the world. For the first time in each of their lives, the young lovers took off a little more than just their shirts. 

They were slow, and gentle, making sure they weren't hurting each other. It felt right to both of them, truly pleasurable. 

When they had finished, Bucky came off from on top of Steve and placed his hand on his chest. "Whoa." He started "That was great," 

He looked towards Steve. Steve's eyes were watering. 

"Oh my god. Steve? Are you okay? Was it something I did?" Bucky asked concerned. 

Steve used the back of his hand to wipe his eyes as he responded, "No, You were awesome. It's just... that was my first time... with anyone... and it was amazing." 

Bucky grinned, pulling Steve into one of his heartwarming hugs. There the two tired forms rested molded together. 

With his last couple bursts of energy, Steve turned away from Bucky for a second, reached into his bag and pulled out his old black camera. The sides were now scratched, and the corner was dented in. That thing was no longer worth the $14 it had cost him all those years ago. He turned back to face Bucky. 

Steve out stretched his arm above them, and prepared to take a picture. Bucky pulled him even closer. In the picture their arms would be a jumbled mess at the bottom of the frame. The expression on Bucky's face was a pudgy smile, with his cheeks raised so high, his eyes were closed shut. Steve's head leaned into Bucky's. His smile was soft. 

The flash clicked, and yet another unforgettable moment was captured forever.


	14. May 1941 - Lets get down to buisness

There were not a lot of places where a group of, presumably, heterosexual men would willingly be partially nude in front of each other. The U.S Recruiting and Induction Center of New York was one of those rare places, and two young men by the names Steve Rogers and James "Bucky" Barnes found themselves in the mix of this naked mess. 

They were enlisting in the Army. After hearing of the bombing of Pearl Harbor, and the impending war, the two patriots thought the least they could do was to serve their country. It was one of the hardest decisions they have ever had to make, but at least they were doing it together. 

In preparation for the physical examination they would both face, Bucky started training at their local gym. He encouraged Steve to join, but between working two jobs, he could barely sleep let alone work out. Bucky warned him of the physical tax The Army would put on a body like Steve's, but Steve would try his hardest to fake bodily strength. 

They sat amongst the other men and waited, bare and cold in the changing room. The amount of angst in the atmosphere was immeasurable. Bucky and Steve nervously babbled to each other as they heard the names being called out in alphabetical order. Jacob Adams,  David Allen, William Anderson, and then finally James Barnes.

Bucky stood up as the female nurse waved him towards the open door. The small sack around his neck carrying his wallet and other belongings swayed with his stride. Steve watched Bucky's every move as he waved back to him while the door closed. 

With a great sigh, he picked up a newspaper and opened it across his lap. As he read the words on the page, all he did was doubt himself. They won't accept me. I'm too small. Even if they do, I'm gonna die on the battle field, He thought. As time passed, many more names were called, and after a long while, Steve finally heard his name. He set the newspaper back down on the table, and walked over to the nurse. 

She led him into another room filled with curtained off sections. 

"Take a seat here," She said as she patted the medical bed covered in tissue paper. "And fill this out for me please." She handed him a clipboard with a form and a pen. When Steve looked up from the clipboard, she was gone. 

The form was a long check off list inquiring about past medical conditions. They ranged from normal everyday things like when was the last time you had a cold, to, are you missing any fingers or toes? Steve checked yes to the conditions that he has had like Asthma, High blood pressure, scarlet fever, rheumatic fever, heart problems, and many more. 

In a few stalls away, Bucky had filled out the same questionnaire. His responses were mainly No, as he was a pretty healthy person. 

The nurse finally came back to Bucky's stall. "We will now start your physical examination Mr. Barnes." She started. "Please step on the scale.''

Bucky leaped off the side of the bed and gently stepped on to the scale. He straitened his back as she then raised the ruler portion if the scale over his head. "6'0, 190lbs" the nurse murmured as she noted his height and weight on his medical form.

Steve's nurse came back into his room and conducted the same tests. Steve stepped on the scale, and the woman recorded his height and weight. "5'7", 110lbs. 

The assessments continued. Aerobic capacity, muscle strength, and flexibility tests were performed with Bucky passing most, and Steve failing most. A blood test was done. Bucky's results would return perfect. Steve's would show a slight iron deficiency. After they finished all of the physical inspections, it was time for a mental evaluation. 

There was a good amount of time in between after the nurse left, and when the evaluator came in. The doctors came into each of the boys stalls, greeted themselves and reached out for a hand shake. 

Bucky gripped the man's hand tight and shook it generously. He usually would never shake anyone's hand like that, but he learned from some friends at the gym, that sometimes faking things was necessary.

Steve's gentle hands clasped the doctor's hand and jiggled the connection up and down. 

"Tell me your name." The doctor instructed

"Steve Rogers." 

"Okay, great.'' I'm Dr. Scott, and I'll just be asking you a couple questions today." Dr. Scott announced to Steve. Steve nodded.

"Alright. First off. Why do you want to join the army?"

Steve thought for a second before answering with "I was never rich, so I never really had the chance to really do anything with my life. When I heard about the war, me and my buddy thought this would be the perfect opportunity for us.'' 

Dr. Scott nodded as he wrote something down in his notes. "Okay. How long have you known your Buddy for?" 

Steve smiled as he began, "My whole life it seems. We're best friends. We do everything together, heck we even live together."

Dr. Scott marked more things down on his notepad. "And are you married?" He asked. 

"No." Steve quickly responded. 

"Do you like to spend time with girls?" The doctor continued. 

Steve thought for a second before answering. "No, not really." He finally responded. With his eyes still on the paper Dr. Scott raised an eyebrow. The interrogation went on with questions about Steve's parents and childhood. 

"I'm Dr. Jones, and if you don't mind, I'll be asking you a couple questions." The man who shook Bucky's hand greeted as he sat down at the table in the room. 

"Fine by me." Bucky said as the man grabbed a pen. 

"So, why the Army?" Dr. Jones questioned. 

"Well, I just really love my country, and when it needs help, I'm there." 

Dr. Scott wrote something down in his notes. "Good, good. Now, do you enjoy the company of women?" 

Bucky grinned. "Boy, do I like women." None of his words or actions were genuine. He enjoyed the company of Steve. 

Dr. Scott laughed at his answer. "And are you married?" He continued. 

"Oh, No." Bucky answered. Dr. Scott nodded as he noted even more. Bucky's interview continued with some of the same questions Steve was asked. 

The two met up after all of their tests were finished and took a cab home. It was now time to wait for their results to come in the mail.  

"How do you think you did?" Bucky asked Steve. 

"I really don't know." Steve said with his eyes gazing out into the window. He felt Bucky's hand wrap around his own. 

*** 

Two full weeks had gone by before the received anything in the mail. It was later afternoon when Steve and Bucky sat on the sofa, hunched over their letters. 

"On three, okay?" Bucky suggested. With his lips pressed together, Steve nodded his head. 

"One..." They both got a better grip on their envelopes. 

"Two..." Steve slipped a finger in the fold of the paper, preparing to tear the top off. 

"Three." Both of them quickly ripped into the letters. 

Steve's eyes scanned the paper looking for any indication of his results. 

"1A!" Bucky whooped. Steve looked up frantically to see a ginormous open mouth grin spread across Bucky's face. "I'm in the army!" Bucky continued as Steve smiled along. He looked back down at his letter. 

Steve's proud grin quickly disappeared as he found his ranking, 4F. He failed.

"Love, what's wrong?" Bucky asked as he notice Steve grow glum. 

"4F." was all Steve had to say for Bucky to understand. He instantly got closer to Steve and tackled him against the couch. Steve sobbed into Bucky's chest, his heavy breathing enough to shake both of them. 

"Calm down Stevie. It's not the end of the world. So what you didn't make it into the army." Bucky attempted to soothe. 

"It's not that I... didn't." Steve rasped. "It's that you did. They're gonna take you from me. You'll... You'll be gone." 

Bucky's heart broke at the realization that they would be apart. "No, No." Bucky croaked, his voice swollen with despair. "It doesn't matter if I'm on the other side of the planet, I will always be with you until the end of the line." 

Steve was now hysterical, making Bucky even more on edge. He separated from Steve's death grip, and looked Steve right in his beautiful blue eyes. "Now I don't know what the next year will be like for us, but just understand," Bucky spoke with tears falling down his cheeks. "I will always be with you." He quickly leaned in and kissed Steve as if it was the last time he would ever do it.

***

Sooner than they anticipated, Bucky and Steve were standing on the tarmac of the Army Base. They were surrounded by all of the other men and their wives saying goodbye. They stood as close to each other as they could without raising suspicion. 

"This isn't Goodbye." Bucky said, "It's just a pause. I'll do my time, I'll come back, and then we'll pick this up right where we left it off 10 times stronger than we were." Steve's eyes were now watering. He pulled Bucky in as tight as he could. Trying to memorize every detail of his touch. 

"I love you... so much." He whispered. 

"I love you too Steve." Bucky responded as he kissed at Steve's scalp. 

Steve stood with his arms crossed and his head down as Bucky walked towards the plane. By the look on his face, you would have thought Steve had just took a nasty blow to the stomach. 

"Hey, Steve!'' Bucky yelled back. "When I get back, I'll take you to the jazz club... we'll go dancing." The soldier's pale face was red from crying. 

***

The entire cab ride home was depressing. Steve sat in the back seat with his legs up on the bench. He tucked his face into his knees. 

When he finally got home, he set down his jacket, and sat down at the table. As he cleared his nose, he rubbed his eyes red. Just as his vision became clear again, he saw his declined acceptance letter. A fit of anger came over Steve, making him grab the letter and crumple it in his hands. That same anger caused him to get up and leave his apartment. He didn't even bring his jacket.

He took long, fast steps down the pavement in the direction of the liquor store. Once he made it in the store, all of his movements were quick, and strategic. He had one plan: get wasted. 

After a short walk home, Steve found himself achieving his goal. The gramophone hummed through the background as Steve sipped on his bottle of vodka. He tapped his foot to the rhythm of the music. His eyes darted around the room. When they landed on the phone, Steve's drunken mind sprouted a crazy idea. He walked over to the table and unrumpled his letter. He found the phone number at the top and dialed it on the phone. 

"Brooklyn Army Recruiting and Induction Center." The woman on the other end greeted. 

"Um, Yes, I was wondering when your next induction time is." Steve requested, trying his hardest not to slur his words. 

"Our next induction time will be on Thursday from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm.'', She said. 

"Thank you miss." Steve said as he hung up the phone.


	15. June 1941 - December 1941 - Brain dead

Life was extremely boring for Steve without Bucky. Now everything was silent. Even at the diner, Steve had no one to talk to. He couldn't even listen to music without being reminded of Bucky. He couldn't wait for him to come home so they could go dancing at the jazz club. 

Steve went to the Induction center on that Thursday. He applied under the alias "Christian Greene". He wasn't as surprised to see that he was denied, again. Seeing as the only way he could contact Bucky was to join the army and get stationed with him in England, Steve enlisted at as many stations as he could in hopes that one of them would accept him. 

Every time he would apply, he would come home, wait the two weeks and be let down with 4F results. He hoped that no one would notice the fraud he was committing by using different fake names and addresses for every city he applied in.

Every night when Steve went to sleep, he would strangle Bucky's pillow, and curl his head into it. It seemed every night the faint scent of Bucky could soothe Steve to sleep. When he slept, he dreamed of Bucky's perfectly chiseled face, his cloud-like lips, his silky black hair, only to wake up a realize that he wasn't even there. 

        ***

One day, Steve had just closed up the diner and was walking home. 

"Hey! Son!" He heard a voice call at him. He turned around to find a homeless man. "Would you be in need any jewelry?" The Scottish man asked. Steve eyed the pile of, probably, stolen gold jewelry on the floor in front of him. 

He stood there for a second, examining the pile. It was filled with necklaces, bracelets, pocket watches, and wedding bands. Steve squatted down to the man's level, and picked up two identical plain gold men's rings. He held them up and inspected them. There were no dents or scratches on either rings. He tried the smaller one on. It fit him perfectly. 

"How much?'' He asked the man holding the two rings out in the palm of his hand. "$3... Each." 

The man requested. Steve toyed with the rings for a second before finally pulling out his wallet and handing over six of his eight dollar bills. 

"Thanks mister, but I think the ladies like diamonds." The peddler suggested as Steve stood back up. 

"Yeah, not my gal." Steve concluded as he put on one of the rings, placed the other in his pocket, and walked away. 

When Steve finally made it home, he went straight to his room and placed Bucky's ring on the night stand. As he cooked himself dinner, he thought of how he would give the ring to Bucky. They couldn't actually get married but, there were no laws against wearing matching rings. 

He felt giddy as he planned out the scenario in his head. He couldn't decide whether or not he would get down on one knee, like he had seen in the movies, or if he would put it in his food and wait for him to find it. Whatever he decided on doing, had lots of time to plan. 

***

As time went by Steve gave up hope on the induction centers. He figured it wasn't worth the mental stress that breaking the law was causing him. Steve always tried to make the best out of things. He finally realized that the best thing he could do was to sit back, and wait for his sweetheart to return from the war.


	16. February 1942 (part 1) - Shut your eyes

The 107th Regiment 

London, England 

U.S Army

February 16, 1942

Dear Reader,

It is my painful duty to inform you about the death of your dear friend. Sgt. James Buchanan Barnes met his end on the night of January 30th, 1942. 

He was believed to have been captured by the German enemy in November, 1941, and was found in early January. He was found with his left arm severed, and was immediately taken to the Army medic. He was then transferred to our hospital where he was expected to make a full recovery. Tragically, his open wounds developed an infection, and after a week-long fever, Sgt. Barnes passed at 9:27pm. 

James will truly be missed by his comrades and his superiors alike. His bravery on the battle field was, and still is, inspirational to the other soldiers. While I cannot begin to imagine the grief this has caused, the boys at 107 and I wish you our condolences and apologize deeply for these awful circumstances. 

Sincerely, 

Col. Chester Philips, and Agent Margret Carter

***

A single tear fell on the letter as Steve took in the words on the page. Bucky Barnes was died.


	17. February 1942 (part 2) - Kiss me goodbye

There were no words to even begin to describe how Steve felt. 

He laid on the kitchen floor sobbing, banging his fists on the wooden floors. The heart wrenching screams Steve let out only began to show the pain he felt. His breathing was so loud and choppy. It was as if someone was standing on his chest. 

Steve would never forget the last time he saw Bucky, the last time he kissed him, that night in the field, the first time they met. Steve swore, as long as he could think, he would always remember these amazing moments. Even when they fought, Steve would always treasure their time together. 

When Sarah died, Bucky was there to help him. Now that Bucky is gone, what was Steve to do? He was all alone. 

It was hard enough to lose his mother, but now he lost the love of his life, and there was nothing bringing him back.

Steve was stuck on the floor. He felt as if he could cry so much that he would become dehydrated. His throat ached, his vision was blurred, and every part of him shook. For almost 30 minutes, he stayed on the floor coiled up in the fetal position. 

He finally got up off the floor, and headed to his bed. With the sleeves of his cardigan, he patted his face. Just as he pulled back the sheet, he looked at the night stand. Bucky's ring glared back at him. He picked it up, and tried it on. It was way too big for him. Without a second thought, he ran into the kitchen. He rummaged through the drawer to find a spool of twine. After cutting a length of the string, he thread it through the ring, and tied it into a necklace. 

As he walked back to his bed, he slipped the string over his neck. While he got into his bed and pulled the covers up to his face, he closed his eyes and relaxed his mind. Within minutes, Steve was asleep. 

Suddenly, Steve was in a club. He was drinking a root beer float. As the band changed songs, Steve looked over his shoulder. He saw Bucky. Bucky waved to him, and Steve stood up and walked towards him. They instantly clasped hands, and Steve placed his head on Steve's shoulder. Neither of them said a word as the dance floor cleared. They swayed to the slow beat of the band. They were dancing just like they did all those years ago; side to side, back and forward.


	18. July 1942 - And

It was around 5:30 when Steve came home from work. He walked into the front lobby of the apartment building and up the stairs to his floor. The hallways were just as stoic and boring as they always were, but there was one thing different today. There was a man sitting on the floor. 

He wore an expensive grey suit with a bright red tie. The top of his head was bald, and slightly reflected the warm lights from the lamps spread throughout the hallway. 

Steve curiously glared at the man, who seemed to be watching him back. He pulled out the keys to the apartment and unlocked the door.  Just as the door opened, the man stood up. 

"Err, Mr. Rogers?" He said to Steve. Surprised by the fact that the man knew his name, Steve turned around with his eyebrows raised. 

"Um, Yes?" He questioned. The man eerily smiled, and stuck his hand out for Steve to shake.

"My name is Dr. Abraham Erskine. I'm with the United States Army." The man said as Steve went to shake his hand. Steve could feel his blood pressure rising. 

"May I come in?" Dr. Erskine asked. Steve swallowed hard before opening the door, and welcoming him to his apartment with a hand gesture.

Dr. Erskine sat down on the couch and crossed his legs. "One second." Steve said as he walked to the bathroom. Erskine nodded. 

Steve closed the door behind him and braced himself up against the sink. The whites of his eyes were now a blood shot red. He wet his hands with water and finger combed his hair. All he could think of was the possibility that the man was going to take him to jail for the fake enlistment forms. 

He finally came back from the bathroom, and pulled a chair from the kitchen right in front of Dr. Erskine. 

"How may I help you?'' Steve asked as he sat down. 

"Do you want to go overseas, and kill some Nazis?'' 

A look of guilt and confusion spread across Steve's face. "Excuse me?'' He asked, "Who are you?" 

Erskine's dull lips replied "As I have said previously, I am Dr. Erskine. I represent the Strategic Scientific Reserve." 

Steve was even more confused when he said he was a scientist. "Where are you from?" Steve asked in order to identify his foreign accent. 

"Queens," Erskine Replied, "73th street and Utopia parkway; before that Germany. Does this trouble you?"

"No," Steve replied defensively. 

"Where are you from Mr. Rogers? Hm, is it the Bronx? Manhattan? Five exams in five different cities." Dr. Erskine read off of Steve's file, which he had with him. 

"That might not be the right file." Steve cut in. 

"No." Erskine clarified, "It's not the exams I'm interested in. It's the five tries." Steve was even more baffled than he was before. "But you still didn't answer my question. Do you want to kill Nazis?" 

Steve looked away from him. "Is this a test?'' he asked returning eye contact. 

''Yes." Dr. Erskine answered. 

"I don't want to kill anyone." Steve responded. "I don't like bullies. I don't care where they're from. I just want to help.'' 

Erskine closed the folder. "Well, there are already so many big men fighting this war. Maybe what we need now is a little guy. Huh?'' Steve tilted his head in curiosity.  "I can offer you a chance. Only a chance." Erskine said as he stood up from the couch. 

Steve saw an opportunity. A chance to break the downward spiral, in Bucky's honor.  

"I'll take it." Steve said a bit too eagerly as he stood up, following Erskine. They both grinned at each other. He handed Steve another folder. Inside, Steve found an enlistment form with a stamped on A1. 

"Congratulations soldier." Erskine saluted.


	19. Epilogue

Steve Rogers would go on to be the most famous soldier in America after participating in Dr. Erskine's experiment that turned him from a frail boy, to a burly man. Even for Steve it was hard to believe that a scrawny kid from Brooklyn could transform into a mountain of a man. 

After a short time in a preliminary boot camp, Steve was chosen to be the lucky recipient of Dr. Erskine's experimental serum. Once everything was prepared, Steve was injected with the serum, and was turned into a super soldier, 10 times bigger and physically stronger than he was before.

But just as Abraham and his associates Howard Stark, and Peggy Carter were celebrating their success, an undercover Hydra agent in the crowd of spectators attempted to steal the last sample of the serum. The newly converted Steve was then able to stop the agent, but unfortunately, Erskine was killed in the crossfire. With the last of the serum destroyed, and Erskine unable to recreate it, Steve was the only super soldier in existence.

With Abraham, died his plans for Steve. Instead, Steve toured the nation with the USO as "Captain America". He did daily performances promoting the sale of war bonds. The shows turned Captain America into a house hold name. Within the following months, there were theater advertisements, films, comic books, and action figures with Steve's face all over them. 

While performing for a group of active servicemen in Italy, Steve learned that a group from the 107th regiment had gone MIA, and took it upon himself to find and save them. Along with the help Agent Peggy Carter, and Howard Stark, Steve flew into the Austrian base and successfully rescued the hostages.  In doing so, the discovery was made that the Hydra agent who had killed Dr. Erskine, was working with a man named Johann Schmidt. 

While in boot camp, Erskine warned Steve of Schmidt's psychopathic and selfish ways. As Erskine's previous lab partner, Abraham had first hand witnessed his fits of anger and impatience, so when Schmidt prematurely injected himself with a prototype of the super soldier serum they had worked on together, Abraham was not very surprised. The unready formula turned Schmidt's skin a bright red. It also destroyed his nose, leaving him with a skull-like appearance. When Johann heard of Abraham's success, he sent an agent to kill him and steal the successful formula. 

Upon returning to the Italian base, Steve and Col. Philips devised a plan to end the Hydra operation, and after Howard stark created Steve a new shield made of vibranium, Captain America and a group of men set out to attack a train carrying a leading member of Hydra named Arnim Zola. After capturing him, and after extracting information, they were able to locate the last Hydra stronghold. 

Steve then led another attack on the base to prevent Schmidt from using an extremely dangerous weapon called the tesseract. Once they were able to find the stronghold, they fought Schmidt's men, and Schmidt escaped in an aircraft. Just as the aircraft took off, Steve was able to get aboard. 

During the flight, the tesseract's container was damaged, and in attempts to save it, Schmidt touched the explosive weapon bear handed causing him to burst into a ball of light. The blast from the explosion caused the aircraft to be damaged, leaving Steve only seconds to make a life changing decision: crash in the Arctic ice where he would almost certainly die, or crash into a city, and kill hundreds of people. With a set mind, Steve steered the aircraft downwards into the field of ice. He took a deep breath just before he felt the impact of the crash. Days after Steve went missing, Howard searched the area of the crash and found the tesseract. He did not find Steve. 

For the next 70 years, Captain America was believed to be dead until a group of researches dug up the crash site, and found Steve Rogers alive frozen in the ice.


	20. Just for Kylee

This is a bonus story written for one of my best friends.

June 1932

In just a few hours, the students of Novak middle school would dress up for the end of the year dance. The boys would gel their hair, and the girls would zip up their billowy dresses. 

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were among the students who would participate in the dance themed Summertime Fun. 

"So," Bucky asked. "What time are you meeting Margot?" 

Steve thought to himself for a second. "The dance starts at 6:30, so probably 6:00. What time are you meeting Paula?" he asked Bucky. 

"Probably 6:00 too." Bucky answered. Steve nodded in agreement as they parted ways and walked off to their last classes of the day.

***

The time was now 4:30. With nothing else to do, Bucky started to get dressed. He never took too long to get dressed, and was done by 4:47. What he lacked in preparation time, he made up for in appearance. His usually messy and unkempt hair was perfectly styled and gelled not leaving a single strand out of place. 

The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to just above his elbow, and the bottom of his shirt was tucked into his pants. He wore brand new socks that extended above the bottom cuff of his pants. His loafers were recently polished and squeaked on the kitchen tile. He looked spectacular.

"Hey Steve," Sarah Rogers yelled to her son. "I'm taking an extra shift at the hospital tonight. Have fun at your dance. Love you!"

"Love you too." Steve shouted back from his room. He heard the front door open and close as his mother left for work. 

Steve looked over at the clock. The time read 4:39. Knowing how long he usually takes to dress himself, he decided he would get in the shower now. He turned on the water, stripped down, and jumped in. For a few minutes, he just stood in the water stream. After a while, he grabbed his mint scented shampoo and lathered his hair. The rest of his body was covered in soap. 

Just as he rinsed out the shampoo, and did the same with conditioner, he heard a loud knock coming from the front door. 

Steve immediately shut off the water and yelled "Who is it?" as loud as he could. After a few seconds, He caught a response. 

"It's me, Bucky". 

Steve was instantly relieved. "One second," he replied as he quickly put on some underwear and wrapped a towel around his waist. He ran across the apartment hastily, as he didn't want to keep Bucky waiting too long. 

Bucky's eyes opened wide to see Steve shirtless and dripping wet once he opened the door. 

Steve took in Bucky's appeal. "Wow!" he blurted without thinking. Both boys' cheeks grew red from embarrassment. "You look good." Steve added in a much calmer tone. 

"You look wet." Bucky replied, noticing his dripping hair.

Steve chuckled. "I just finished a shower. Come in" he said as he opened his door and walked towards his bedroom. Bucky followed him to his room and sat on the bed. 

Steve dropped the towel to the floor as he looked through his closet for an outfit. After choosing a white shirt, a brown tie with orange and blue diagonal stripes, brown pants, and an oversized beige jacket, -with help from Bucky-, he proceeded to put the clothes on. 

Bucky silently watched Steve, taking in his appearance. This was the first time he had ever seen Steve even partially nude, and he was intrigued, to say the least.  

He observed the muscles on Steve's legs shift as he stepped into his pants. The way his fingers latched the buttons on his shirt was satisfying to watch. 

Once Steve had finished dressing, he walked over to the bathroom to style his hair. After combing a little pomade through his hair, he walked over to Bucky. 

"You look perfect Steve." Bucky complimented. Steve blushed red and stuck his hands in his pockets. In attempts to deflect the attention away from him, Steve recommended they eat something before the dance, just in case they didn't like the food that was there. Bucky agreed and they started for the kitchen.

 

Steve scoured the drawers for knifes. Once he found them, he grabbed two green apples from the fruit bowl, and sat down at the table next to Bucky. He handed him one of the apples and a knife. 

"Thanks." Bucky said as he picked them up one item in each hand. They sat and ate their apples as the time grew later, and later. 

The time was finally 5:57. The two young men stood side by side waiting for their dates. They waited under the tree that was right in front of the schools' entrance. Steve tapped his feet in excitement looked around for Margot in the, already, large crowd of people. After a few minutes of looking, he finally found her. 

"She's here!" Steve exclaimed, nudging his arm. 

"Margot! Over here!" Steve called out to her. 

Her warm brown hair swayed as she turned to face him. She was wearing a mint dress that had tiny pink flowers on it, white leggings, and black flat shows with little bows over the toes. 

"Steve!" Margot squealed as she ran towards Steve. Margot had a high voice, and a short attention span. She ran up to Steve and hugged him. He instantly filled up with happiness. "Oh my goodness! You looks so handsome tonight." She complimented Steve. "And you must be Bucky." She added, towards Bucky. 

"Yup. That's me." He responded, as he noticed Paula suddenly appeared in the pit of people. 

Paula's cool brown hair was held back by a yellow elastic headband. She wore a lemon yellow dress that had a rounded collar. Bucky waved to get her attention. When she finally noticed him, she walked over. 

"Hey Bucky." She greeted. All four of them exchanged hellos and waited in the line to get in. 

They were in the doors of the multi-purpose room. The walls were covered in red and blue drapes. On the stage, there was a gramophone playing music that evenly circulated throughout the room. 

Kids were laughing and dancing. Bucky and Steve both danced with their dates to the fast paced upbeat tunes. They made sure to stay somewhat close to each other on the huge dancefloor. 

The time was 7:00. "Hey Margot!" Steve heard a girl call out. Margot turned around to find a group of her friends standing behind her. 

"Oh my Gosh! You made it!" she cheered as all five friends condensed into a group hug. The tightly compacted girl slowly migrated away from Steve taking Margot with them. Steve was left alone on the dance floor. 

At first he was unsure of what happened. One second she was here, and the next, gone. He was confused at first, but once it finally set in that Margot wasn't coming back, Steve was heartbroken. 

He looked towards Bucky with a solemn expression on his face. Bucky was dancing with Paula. The music that was playing in the background was fast paced, and Bucky was twirling her around. He was laughing. He looked so happy. 

Steve didn't want to burden him with his problems, so he walked over to the chairs and sat down. His arms were folded on his chest and he leaned back in his seat. His jaws were grinding from anger, and his eyes were aching and dampening with tears. He watched the young couples laughing, dancing, and smiling. 

"Why couldn't it have just worked out? " He asked himself. "How could she lead me on like that?" As he thought to himself, he spaced out. His body was there, but his mind was somewhere else. 

"Steve! What's wrong?" Bucky interrupted. "Why are you sitting? Where's Margot?" he continued. 

Steve looked up at Bucky, single tears streaming down his cheeks. Bucky saw the water glisten in the lights from the stage. His face showed concern. 

"Here, come on." He said as he reached out for Steve's hand to lift him out of his chair. When Steve grabbed his hand, he stood up and Bucky lead them out of the room. 

They were in the hall behind the Multi-purpose room. The walkways were empty and the only light came from the small lanterns on the walls. Steve leaned up against the wall. He used his sleeves to dry his face. Bucky stood across from him. 

"What happened?" he asked in a soft voice. 

"She left me. S-She just walked off with her friends. Didn't even say a word." Steve answered with shock in his tone. 

Bucky opened his arms and walked towards him. Steve curled his arms into his chest and walked into Bucky's embrace. Bucky wrapped one arm around Steve's back and his other hand drifted up towards Steve's head. Steve's sobs were muffled by Bucky's chest. He would never let anyone know it, but Steve was extremely sensitive. The only one who really knew that was Bucky, and when Steve was at his weakest points, Bucky knew exactly what to say or do to bring him up. 

After a long hug, they decided they would go home. The dance would be over in 15 minute and they wouldn't miss much. Bucky ran back in to explain to Paula that Steve wasn't feeling well and that they were leaving. She was completely understanding and gave Bucky a goodbye kiss on his cheek. It would have meant a lot to him in any other situation, but given the circumstance, all he cared about was Steve.  
***  
Steve sat on his couch in a ball. Bucky was there. He felt he couldn't just leave Steve alone. His plan was to stay until 9:00 when Sarah was supposed to be home. 

Bucky and Sarah had developed a respect based relationship. He could talk to her like he could his own mother. She would be understanding and even a little bit grateful that he stayed behind with Steve.

The time rolled around to 9:09. The boys were sitting in the couch. Over the soft humming gramophone, they could hear the clicking of the lock as the door opened. She was finally home. 

The boys explained to her everything that had happened. She thanked Bucky for caring, and as he walked out the door, all he could think about was the pain Steve felt that night.


End file.
